


How To Keep Your Danchou Clean: A Guide For Horny Clowns

by shinysuicune



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Bath Sex, Bloodlust, Can you tell I have a kink for Chrollo being called Danchou?, Chrollo is Greasy, Explicit Sexual Content, Flirting, Hisoka And His Nen Kink, Kissing, Love Bites, M/M, Mild Blood, Power Dynamics, Rough Sex, Scratching, forced drowning, mention of non-con in convo but it does not occur, nor has it occured, this is very consensual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-19 20:24:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15517881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinysuicune/pseuds/shinysuicune
Summary: Hisoka manages to convince Chrollo to take a bath with him, and things get steamy very quickly.





	How To Keep Your Danchou Clean: A Guide For Horny Clowns

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first explicit fic, I have never written porn before, so this is probably bad lmao  
> Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy this at least a little. If you comment or leave kudos, I send you all of my love *blows kiss*  
> 

“Danchou~” 

“Yes?”

“Can I sit here?”

Hisoka pointed to a spot right next to him. Chrollo thought about it. He really wanted to be alone, but he was curious to see what Hisoka would do next if he allowed him. Hisoka usually stayed far away from him and never got too close, so him trying to sit near Chrollo was unusual. 

Chrollo didn’t want to mention that there were plenty of other places to sit. He was curious why Hisoka would choose to sit by him in particular and why he was even still there in the first place. 

Chrollo quickly scanned the place over. Most of the Spiders had already gone back to their hotels or wherever they planned to sleep for the night. The meeting was over, and they were no longer obligated to stay. However, some were still around, slowly drifting off. 

“Your usual spot by the window get drafty?” 

“A bit.” Hisoka responded. His eyes lit up in that flirtatious way they tend to when he’s up to no good. 

“Be my guest.” 

Hisoka sat down and pulled out his cards like usual, deliberately choosing to not look at Chrollo. Chrollo took this as a queue to ignore him. Luckily, he couldn’t feel any malice coming from Hisoka at the moment, so he continued reading. 

After about a page into his book he felt Hisoka’s shoulder softly bump into his own. 

He ignored it. 

Then there was more of a weight pressed at his side. Hisoka had leaned against him, but still did not look at him. They sat in silence for a few more minutes before Hisoka spoke. 

“Danchou?” 

The magician’s voice didn’t have its usually charm to it. In fact, it sounded a bit strained. 

“Yes?”

“I don’t mean to offend you, but...you smell like you haven’t showered in days.” He laughed quietly in an effort to quell the tension. It was strange to see Hisoka so...awkward. 

“Well, that’s probably because I haven’t.”

Hisoka’s almost choked trying to cover up his own gasp. It was so funny to see him...baffled? One might even say it was cute. 

“Oh, you must be so busy, you haven’t had the chance?~” He sounded like he was attempting to convince himself, “You should take one tonight while you have free time. It is getting late, and most everyone is going back to their rooms anyway.” 

Chrollo didn’t know about the reaction. He almost felt a bit ashamed. When was the last time he took a shower? All the days were blurring together, he could hardly remember. 

“It’s only been about 5 days.” He argued, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. 

Hisoka’s eyes widened and his fake smile fell, and was replaced with a look of true disappointment, an expression Chrollo had rarely seen on him. He was starting to find this amusing. It almost made him want to swallow his pride and tell Hisoka how dirty he could really be, if only to see the look on the magician’s face. 

Hisoka could see the amount of grease in Chrollo’s hair and the sweat on his chest from being under such a heavy coat. In any other situation, that might have been sexy, he thought, but at the time he could barely keep the smell from assaulting him. 

“Why have you waited so long?”

“It’s not that long. I’ve gone longer.” Chrollo was just pulling his leg at this point. 

Hisoka looked a little sick now. His perfect image of Chrollo had a crack in it, and in a way he didn’t expect! He needed to fix that. Before he could respond, Chrollo decided to ask him a question. 

“When is the last time you took a shower?”

“This morning...I take one every day.” His voice was soft, and tried its best not to sound so accusing. 

Chrollo shouldn’t be surprised. Hisoka always looked clean and made up, and now that he has gotten the chance to sit so close to him, Chrollo might even say that he smelled nice. 

“Let’s take a bath, Danchou~”

“What?” Now it was Chrollo’s turn to choke. It seemed his plan to mess with the other man had backfired on him. 

“I’m sure you will feel much better once you’re clean.” Hisoka smiled, but it was tight-lipped. He was determined. 

Chrollo had suddenly felt embarrassed, like a child who was being accused of not being capable of doing things for himself. He was also reluctant to be alone with Hisoka. He didn’t trust the magician one bit, but his curiosity to see him in his own element, away from everyone else, was always incredibly tempting. 

However, curiosity did kill the cat...

“It will feel good~” 

...But satisfaction brought it back. 

“Okay.” 

—

The entire walk to Chrollo’s hotel room was awkward. However, with Chrollo refusing to reveal how uncomfortable he was in the slightest, and Hisoka keeping his excitement under wraps, both had remained cool as cucumbers on the exterior. 

When they reached the inside of Chrollo’s hotel room, Hisoka ran the bath, but insisted that they take a shower first. Chrollo was hesitant, but Hisoka encouraged him. 

“C’mon Danchou~ I promise not to touch.” he purred. 

Chrollo undressed quickly, and paid Hisoka no attention. He could tell Hisoka was looking him up and down. Taking him in. Assessing the goods. Chrollo tried his best not to stare back at Hisoka’s very naked body. He really didn’t understand what made him think this would ever be a good idea. 

They both jumped in the shower at the same time, bumping into each other slightly. If Chrollo could think properly at that moment he would have probably caught on that Hisoka had done it on purpose. 

The heat from the shower made him feel relaxed in a way he hadn’t felt in days. All of the previous tension he had built up suddenly released. He just sat under the spray in peace, as he felt it run down his skin. He almost forgot Hisoka was even there with him, until he suddenly felt fingers in his hair that weren’t his own. He tensed up, and opened his eyes. Hisoka was...washing his hair. 

“I hope you don’t mind. I know I promised not to touch.” 

Hisoka’s long nails had felt so good as they scratched and rubbed his scalp. Chrollo really couldn’t find it in himself to complain. 

“No, it feels...really nice.”

Hisoka hummed. He sounded pleased with himself. 

When Chrollo rinsed the shampoo out of his hair, he felt Hisoka’s hand travel down his back, all the way from his shoulder blade to right above his ass. It was a sensual caress. Chrollo should have scolded him for insubordination, but it gave him a dirty idea of what Hisoka’s nails might feel like clawing at his back. He shouldn’t have liked the idea as much as he did. 

He turned around, to see Hisoka looking down at him with what he couldn’t describe as anything else but delighted bedroom eyes. 

Chrollo thought Hisoka would seem more intimidating when he was naked and towering over him, but he actually found the opposite to be true. Hisoka looked, dare he say, soft. With his hair undone, and makeup wiped from his face, it was the most normal Chrollo had ever seen Hisoka appear. 

“Your turn.”

“My turn?” Hisoka smirked mischievously, “But Danchou, you still have to wash. Allow me~”

Hisoka looked so delighted at the prospect that just as Chrollo couldn’t find it in him to scold Hisoka before, he couldn’t find any reason to deny Hisoka now. Before Chrollo knew it, he was completely scrubbed down. While Hisoka may have seemed like he just wanted an excuse to touch him not even 5 seconds ago, now he was set on actually making sure Chrollo got as clean as possible. 

When he reached down to a more private area, Chrollo grabbed his wrist. 

“I will take it from here.” He blushed like mad, hoping the heat of the shower made it less obvious. 

“Of course~”

Hisoka pulled back, and Chrollo let himself examine his body for the first time. Hisoka’s dick was just a little over average sized and pretty just like the rest of him. He wasn’t hard, like Chrollo had expected him to be. He imagined if he showed off even a little bit of his nen, it would be a whole different situation. It could get dangerous...very quickly. 

As Chrollo began to wash off, it seemed Hisoka was focused on cleaning his own self as well. Chrollo tried to steal glances at him when he thought Hisoka wasn’t looking. Hisoka was most likely doing the same thing. 

Hisoka was both taller and physically larger than him, but his moves were much more delicate and graceful. Chrollo’s eyes slowly traveled over his broad chest to his unbelievably tiny waist, and down to his thick thighs. Chrollo scolded himself for wishing that Hisoka would turn around so that he could inspect the rest of him. He had felt just as perverted as Hisoka usually was. 

When they were done, Hisoka reached over to turn off the water, and bumped into Chrollo’s backside with his hip. 

“All clean now!” Hisoka exclaimed, “Why, don’t you look handsome!” 

Chrollo imagined he must look like a wet rat. 

He looked up, to see Hisoka’s eyes crinkle in pleasure. The way Hisoka’s wet hair framed his face made him look unbearably cute, Chrollo had decided. 

“Bath time~”

Suddenly, Hisoka ushered him out of the shower and into the bath. Chrollo did managed to catch a quick glance at Hisoka’s ass before he was pulled into the water. It looked just as nice as he expected it to. 

Once emerged, Chrollo felt a sudden awkwardness, even more so than he did in the shower. He didn’t know how to act around Hisoka when they were meant to just sit and relax. He figured they could just close their eyes and say nothing. He had a sudden desire to read his book. 

“Do you feel better?” 

“Yes, I do, actually.”

Hisoka looked at him from across the tub, like a hungry animal ready to pounce. He licked his lips unashamedly. 

“Would you like to do something else?~”

“We just got in here.” 

Hisoka laughed. 

“I didn’t mean you had to leave the bath.”

“Oh?” 

“I was wondering...if you wanted a massage?” 

This was dangerous. He was letting Hisoka dote on him too much. He was being too vulnerable around him. The idea of Hisoka touching him might quickly become his new guilty pleasure, and Chrollo wasn’t used to denying himself the things he wanted. 

“Let me please you, Danchou~” the way he voiced it sent shivers down Chrollo’s spine. 

“Sure.” He hoped the crack in his voice wasn’t noticeable. He wasn’t used to visibly losing his cool, even in the slightest. 

Before he knew it, Hisoka was massaging his shoulders, and he managed to do an outstanding job of it as well. 

It occurred to Chrollo that this was entirely inappropriate. While it was normal to take a bath with companions, having your companion wash you and give you an intimate massage in the bath did cross a line. Chrollo feared this night he was going to cross even more lines if this kept up. He couldn’t help himself, and neither could Hisoka. 

He allowed Hisoka to rub his hands over his muscles for a bit longer. Chrollo tried his best not to make a sound. Hisoka just hummed and made soft pleasured noises the whole time, as if he was the one who was getting the message. 

Before things escalated, Chrollo decided to turn the tables. He wasn’t going to let Hisoka think he had all the control here. 

He turned around abruptly, and looked at Hisoka, intently. Hisoka placed his hands on Chrollo’s chest. Chrollo could fell the scratch of his nails and the thought of them clawing down his back returned. 

Shockingly, he realized he was hard. He didn’t even notice when it happened. Hisoka had actually managed to get him hard. He shouldn’t be surprised, but a small part of him was holding out for the option where they both just finished the bath and went their separate ways, if only because he knew what kind of trouble this would cause...

...But both of them had always been fans of causing trouble. 

Without thinking, Chrollo moved closer, grabbed Hisoka under the thighs and pulled him over until Hisoka was seated completely in his lap with his thighs around his waist, and both their arousals flushed together. 

“Oh, Danchou~” Hisoka moaned dramatically in response. 

It set a fire in Chrollo’s belly. His urge to be chaotic outweighed the warning signs going off in his brain and he released the smallest amount of nen, just to see what would happen. 

It was enough to break Hisoka’s entire persona. 

Hisoka instantly turned into a drooling whining mess. Chrollo couldn’t believe he had the power to change a man this quickly. All with just a flick of nen. It made him haughty. 

Now he was about to fuck one of his subordinates in the bath, all because he couldn’t be bothered to take one himself. 

Hisoka kissed the corner of his mouth like it was the most natural instinct in the world. His lips were soft, and he tasted like cherries. He began kissing across Chrollo’s jaw in desperation. 

It was rather sweet, Chrollo thought, and he developed a surprising affection for Hisoka at that moment. Despite the fact that murderous aura was surrounding him. 

Attempting to stop the bloodlust was a challenge for Hisoka. While Chrollo knew Hisoka was aroused by his show of power, and was cautious enough to know he was unpredictable and dangerous, Chrollo was unaware of just how badly Hisoka wanted to kill him in that moment. His whole body ached for it. He had to quell it; this was not how he wanted to start a fight. Not when he could savor Chrollo a while longer. 

Chrollo would admit he didn’t know what to do next. His mind had been currently busy mapping out the feeling of Hisoka’s mouth on his damp skin. He thought it would be best to voice his intentions so they were both clear what was about to happen. 

“I’m going to fuck you.” He breathed out hard through his nose. The statement had nearly been a whisper, but dominate enough to make Hisoka moan anyways. 

Hisoka nipped him lightly, and then pulled back from sucking on his jaw. He had made a small purple hickey. He licked his lips and rubbed over the marking gently with his thumb. 

“What if I refuse?” It sounded like a challenge, and with that, the atmosphere was noticeably thicker than it was before. 

Chrollo was dumbfounded. He never imagined Hisoka would ever say ‘no’ to him. 

“Would you force me, Chrollo?” It was the first time Hisoka had used his name when speaking to him. 

“No.”

“A shame.”

The tension was gone just as Hisoka kissed him roughly on the lips. Chrollo found it difficult to breathe. He bit him, and Chrollo could taste metal on his tongue. When Hisoka pulled away he continued:

“I would never deny you, Danchou~ you can fuck me silly all you want.” He giggled sweetly and his eyes narrowed. 

Chrollo wasn’t at all that sure of what to do next. He aligned himself with Hisoka’s entrance before Hisoka quickly stopped him. 

“At least stretch me out first, don’t be so cruel~” he whined playfully, grabbing Chrollo’s hand and leading it to where he was about to shove his dick. 

“I would do it myself, but...” he held up his hand, and Chrollo was confused at first, before he realized that it was to emphasize his long sharp nails. 

Without another word Chrollo stuck two fingers in and Hisoka gasped. 

“Two already?” 

“You can take it.” Chrollo was starting to feel both cocky and impatient as he began moving his fingers deeper. He stretched him open for a bit, at first getting no particular reaction, until Hisoka couldn’t take it any longer. He was starting to cling tightly to his shoulders, and letting out small soft noises, ranging from high whines to low moans. The responses made Chrollo suddenly aware of how hard his dick was throbbing. It was interesting to see Hisoka come undone once again, and this time he didn’t even have to use his nen to do it. He was enjoying the experience too much. It was an addiction ready to worry into his bones. 

He searched for Hisoka’s prostate, before finally finding it, and giving it a good stroke. Hisoka let out a high pitched yell, and pulled on Chrollo’s hair at the base of his neck. 

“You’re shaking like a leaf. Are you cold?” Chrollo teased. 

“Very funny.” Hisoka’s chest was pushed so close to his, Chrollo could feel his rapid heartbeat echoing his own. 

He pulled his fingers out, and immediately sheathed himself inside him. Hisoka hissed loudly. 

Chrollo probably should have given him time to adjust to his size, but he just pulled out and thrust back in without hesitation. Hisoka whimpered as Chrollo set a fast pace. It was a rare, delightful little sound. 

Chrollo decided to push Hisoka’s back closer to the edge of the bath so that he could lean against it if needed. He held Hisoka’s hips so tightly; they were probably going to bruise. It was a sweet revenge for the hickey on his jaw. 

Hisoka began clawing at Chrollo’s back like an animal, hard enough to draw blood, but it only encouraged him to thrust harder. The pace was becoming brutal, but Hisoka only seemed to enjoy it more. 

“That feels...you...make me feel...sooo good...” 

Hisoka couldn’t even talk properly. Between the activity and the heat of the bath, it seemed he might have been getting lightheaded. A small amount of blood made it’s way into the water, surrounding them, but neither of them noticed. 

Hisoka reached down between them to stroke himself as Chrollo lifted his hand to cup his right pec, rubbing his thumb roughly over the rosy nipple. Hisoka looked at him, his eyes clouded by lust. 

“Yes! Yes...Chrollo! Just a little faster...right there!” He was gasping for air between every word. He seemed almost manic. 

Chrollo let out a few grunts and moans of his own, but tried his best to keep himself under control. If he left himself too vulnerable, Hisoka would learn one of his weaknesses. 

They were only a few minutes in, and both of them were already lost to the pleasure. Chrollo was even beginning to give praises of encouragement. He was drunk off the power. 

“You should appreciate that you have such a good Danchou to take care of you properly.”

“You’re so condescending~” Hisoka pouted. 

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Chrollo froze. The shock from the unexpected visitor made his blood run cold. How could anyone be here? How did they get in? 

“Who is it?” Chrollo yelled. 

“It’s Paku.” 

Dammit. He forgot that he had given Pakunoda a spare key to the room for emergencies, as she was the most responsible and he held a great trust in her to retrieve him if anything happened. They were on a time-constrained watch for a big score. They had no leads lately. 

“I’m sorry to bother you, Danchou. I know it’s late. I wouldn’t have come here if it wasn’t important, but we need you to come look at what Shalnark found as soon as possible. I think you’re gonna like it.” 

Chrollo looked down at Hisoka, who was sliding down into the tub, near on his back now. Chrollo realized that he was trying to push himself back on his cock, and Chrollo immediately thrusted slowly back into him on instinct, causing him to let out a low grunt. 

“Are you okay, Danchou?” Pakunoda sounded concerned on the other side of the door. 

Chrollo put his hand over Hisoka’s mouth. 

“I’m fine, I will be out in a moment.” He sounded so calm, you couldn’t even tell what he was doing in there. 

Hisoka had a gleam in his eye that told Chrollo he was in for some trouble. 

“Don’t make a sound.” He whispered quietly in Hisoka’s ear as he thrusted back in again. Water splashed outside of the tub and Hisoka let out a loud whine regardless. 

Pakunoda was still standing outside, speaking through the door. 

“Do you want me to wait for you?” She asked. 

“No, you go ahead without me!” Chrollo yelled, hoping he didn’t sound desperate. 

Hisoka was on the verge of moaning his name when Chrollo instinctively grabbed him by the throat and pushed him underwater. He didn’t even think about it. 

“Okay. I will go tell the others you’re on your way.”

Hisoka didn’t even put up a fight, the masochistic bastard. 

“Thank you, Paku!”

He waited until he heard her footsteps leave completely, and listened to the click of room door closing behind her before he pulled Hisoka back up. 

Hisoka coughed and sputtered and grabbed onto him for air. He was only under for a few seconds, but Chrollo imagined he must have inhaled some water when he was unexpectedly pushed down. Before Hisoka could even compose himself again, Chrollo began fucking into him like a man on a mission. 

He needed to hurry and get out of there before some of the spiders searched for him again. 

“You didn’t even give me CPR~” Hisoka grabbed his face, and kissed him like he was dying for it. 

Between Chrollo almost drowning him and fucking into him almost violently, Hisoka didn’t last long at all. After only a few more thrusts he came, moaning into the kiss, as his eyes rolled in the back of his head. 

The tight constriction around him, made Chrollo come undone as well. He didn’t even have the time to pull out. 

Both of them were left panting, and feeling bone tired, as Chrollo draped himself over Hisoka to catch his breath. Sticking his nose in the side of the magician’s neck and breathing in the fresh scent of jasmine. 

“That was wonderful~ we should do it again sometime.” Hisoka whispered fondly as he began stroking the back of Chrollo’s head, “I think we might need to take another shower though.”

Chrollo looked down to see more blood than before, swimming through the water. He suddenly felt his back begin to sting harshly. 

—

“Why is your hair wet?” Machi asked Hisoka when they arrived back at the hideout. 

“I took a bath, of course.” 

“That’s funny, so did Danchou.” she narrowed her eyes in a way that told him it wasn't funny at all, “You weren’t in your room either.” She was one smart cookie, he thought, and beamed at her. 

“You went to my room?~” he smiled devilishly. 

“They wanted me to tell you to come here. Don’t think I went there just to see you.” She sneered. 

“Sorry, I was off convincing Chrollo to get clean since no one else would,” Hisoka stated confidently, “Doesn’t he look nicer?” He gestured towards Chrollo who was listening to Shalnark’s overexcited ramble about...whatever this meeting was about. Hisoka didn’t really care. 

“He does look better.” Machi admitted, “...did he hurt himself somehow? His jaw looks...bruised?” 

Hisoka just gave her a look of pure innocence, and a shrug full of feigned ignorance. 

“Who knows~”

**Author's Note:**

> Chrollo is greasy and all his tattoos are from fruit roll-up packets  
> Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.


End file.
